Written by jd Balderdash
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Topics: Candy, Countryside

Tuesday, 10 January 2006

image for Mount St Helens Erupts Skittles

For over a year Mount St Helens has been threatening to blow her top. Today she did, raining down billions of colorful bite-sized candy shells with the chewy fruity centers upon the surrounding countryside complete with the Skittles signature fluorescent Flavor~Rainbow. Where Mount St Helens got the Skittles nobody knows.

Emergency crews in Washington are warning residents, mostly little kids to NOT go out gathering up the colorful candy shells just yet.

Scientists at the scene are baffled, not simply because the St Helens erupted Skittles but more-so because of the scientifically unexplainable flavor rainbow accompanying the eruption shimmering in the sky 250 radial miles above the volcano.

"It's JUST like one of those Skittles commercials" one excited geophysicist said, telling reporters,

"I was one of the first ones to taste one of the Skittles and yes, those are Skittles alright. Mine was Mango Peach Tropical Orange. Darndest thing all this. They never covered this in Geophysics class."

Washington Governor Christine Gregoire thinks that complete candy cleanup (CCC) could cost the state millions saying,

"Of course we could just turn people loose, have THEM gather up all the Skittles. Be sure and wash them folks before putting them in your mouth. You don't know where they've been inside Mount St Helens."

President Bush did not officially declare the state a disaster area but rather sent a couple of giant Galaxy C4 military transport planes to scoop up some of the Skittles covering the countryside.

"I love them things" the President said adding, "As long as they're free and just laying around .."

Mars Candies, maker of Skittles is elated with the eruption saying,

"No one was hurt and what better free publicity can you get having an active volcano spew your product all over the countryside."

Again, no one knows how Mount St Helens got the Skittles OR the rainbow. Her last eruption in 1984 killed 57 hurling rocks boulders lava and debris as far south as Seattle and beyond.

"Thankfully", says governor Gregoire, "Thankfully this was a kinder, gentler, tastier explosion. Now if I can just dig my car out from under these colorful candy shells."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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