Written by Skoob1999
Print this

Saturday, 8 October 2011

image for Occupy Wall Street - Brits Fly In To Add Spice To Protest With Infinity Chillies
The Man Who Laid The Foundations For Disaster - Sylvester Stallone

Latest news is that those American slackers who have the cojones to come out and protest about corporate greed, banking malpractice, and tax evading billionaires, are to be reinforced by a delegation of commie pinko Limey bastards, who are about to give the protest movement a typical Brit kick up the arse - by introducing the spawn of Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, and Martin Luther King, to a good old fashioned dose of scorching hot curry, and kebabs with thirty nine thousand alarm chilli sauce.

SN's US correspondent, Harold Worth, reported:

"It seems that the Brits have generally sympathised with the protesters, on the basic premise that Barack Obama possibly had slightly less to do with the global recession than international bankers, the Republican Party,Fanny May, Freddie Mack, the Ku Klux Klan, or a bunch of grumpy old farts who can't hack it when they don't get all their own way. (Like when they have to spend some money.) But the Brits thought the Yank protests were a bit feeble and needed beefing up a bit. So they've sent them some pretty heavy chilli amusement and some super strength European lager. They reckon that'll consolidate the protests."

According to medical research, an individual who has consumed 15 pints of strong continental lager, followed by an 'Infinity' chilli Madras, is unlikely to flinch when pepper sprayed by a fat, lardy arsed New York cop.

"The probable result would be that a beered and curried up chain smoking Brit type would swallow the pepper spray, bend the gun barrel in half and boot the cop up the bollocks. Before setting him alight."
- the research says.

Opposition to the 'Occupy Wall Street' movement appears to be mainly concentrated among the elderly US population, who just want to hide behind the couch and hope that reality goes away and leaves them alone.

As the civil rights movement of the 60's, or the anti-Vietnam movement passed them by.

"These people live in the past," south coast of England kebab and burger van entrepreneur, Ali Bullo - a member of the 'Support Occupy Wall Street UK Chapter' said, as he left Heathrow, bound for New York. "Them need big firecracker up the arse. Them want return to 1936 and picket fence life. Is no possible. It no 1936 now - is 2011. We need to move with times. Me do doner with proper chilli, and me mate Nozad do curry Madras - we put fire under whingeing bastards. Always blame peeps, except selves. Occupy Wall Street movement take over world with enough proper hot chilli, innit. Them occupy peeps come out fighting. We bring soap too. And proper burgers."

No idea what that's all about.

But there you go.

More as we get it.

Make Skoob1999's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 plus 3?

9 6 21 8
54 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more