Written by jd Balderdash
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Sunday, 8 January 2006

image for Doctors to bring President Bush out of Medically Induced Coma
"Can you hear me now?"

Most Americans are unaware that even though President Bush has been leading the nation for 6 years he has in fact been in a medically induced coma since 1991. One White House physician said, "That explains why the President sometimes gets confused or mispronounces words or forgets where he is or invades small nations or .."

Bush was placed in a medically induced coma in 1991 after falling off a horse. While still in the stable. Doctors say they induced a controlled coma in order to stabilize his vital signs but somehow failed to bring him OUT of the coma.

"For some reason when Mr Bush woke up and asked for some grits, a Pez dispenser and his rubber duck Mr Quakers we thought he had somehow mysteriously awakened from the medically induced coma on his own."

In Wednesday's upcoming operation doctors will sedate the President, slow his heart rate then inject him with what doctors jokingly refer to as "Coma B Gone". If all goes well President will finally awaken from his 15 year slumber.

Former president Herbert Walker Bush said,

"I thought something was wrong with the boy when back in '91 we brought him home from the hospital and he started rambling on about wanting to become the Governor of Texas. Dang if he didn't go ahead and do it."

Many wonder if the President would have invaded Iraq if he had not been in a medically induced coma. Only time will tell. Senator John Kerry said,

"Perhaps after awakening Mr Bush will suddenly realize what he's done and bring our troops home. Who knows, he might even have a good hearty laugh like the rest of us about that Social Security plan of his. We're still having quite a chuckle about that one over at the hill."

CNN"s Doctor Sanjay Gupta explained medically induced comas ..

"Mr Bush, like prime Minister Arial Sharon was basically placed into a controlled brain-dead state. Normally, like with Mr Sharon, doctors, after the patient has stabilized will take the patient OUT of that brain-dead state which unfortunately with President Bush doctors back in 1991 sort of dropped the ball on the 40."

White House physicians tell the nation not to worry. One doctor, part of the team that will awaken the president told reporters,

President Bush, doctors say, is in good spirits, plotting his next invasion this time with the aid of his dog Barney. And, as fate would have it the President has absolutely NO idea what's about to un-happen to him this coming Wednesday.

"That's a good thing" one physician said. "A good thing for America indeed."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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