Governor Chris Christie took the podium at a press conference today to announce his candidacy for President of the United States.
Christie proclaimed, "The fat's I the fire! I am running for President! I have said several times in the past I did not feel I was ready. Well," he paused, "I am ready now!"
The throng of supporters chanted, "The fat's in the fire! The fat's in the fire!" Christie continued, "I've just had three Big Macs, four orders of fries, three big drinks, and an apple pie, and I am as ready as I will ever be!" The crowd chanted, "The fat's in the fire! The fat's in the fire!"
Christie finished the short announcement with the following words, "And any of you that don't like it, can kiss my ass! If you don't know where to find it, just do a google earth search; it is there for all to see! I close with the immortal words of Orson Welles, "Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch."
The band struck up the chorus of "I don't want her, you can have her, she's too fat for me!" Christie waved and waddled from the stage.