Written by KendoMonkey
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Topics: Local, p diddy

Wednesday, 29 October 2003

image for P Diddy in Sweetshop Row
I need sugar. What can I say?

Rap star P Diddy (formerly Puff Daddy, and before that J-Mankoni Raphanapolis Mercutio Benz), has been ordered to leave the US after claims he "ruffled feathers" in a local sweet-shop.

The shop, owned by Gareth Caruthers, has been left in devastation following the visit by P Diddy. Mr Caruthers told us:

"The guy was mental! He came in here talking about "shizzle" and wanted me to show him some sugar. Anyway, I gave him half a pound of jelly beans which he threw at my wife. He then tore up the place, flailing his bling like a mace or something. His chunky gold necklace certainly made the most damage"

P Diddy is likely to remove his crazy ass from the US before he can do any more damage. A spokesperson for P Diddy called Mario VanStrep told us:

"Mr Diddy is very upset about the allegations. He intends to make reparations and to flee the country before any more trouble comes a-knockin'"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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