VACAVILLE, California - Simon Cowell and his fellow Englishman Piers Morgan can make room for another mean person to join them in their exclusive Meanest Individuals In America Club.
William C. Wood High School girls Home Economics teacher Stevie Cuckovich [Pronounced - CROCK-OF-SHIT] disciplined several students by deducting points from their scores simply because they dared to say the customary "Bless you" when other students sneezed.
According to Ling Chow Rangoon who covered the story for iRumors Cuckovich even let it be known that he did not want to hear anyone say any type of post-sneezing remarks including the most popular one "God bless you" and the second most popular one "Gesundheit."
Noted psychologist Dr. Carleeza Zoyerfaust of UCLA said that in her 29 years of being an expert in her field she has never come across anyone like Cuckovich.
Dr. Zoyerfaust noted that there had to be something in the teacher's past that would make him act in such a stupidly dumbass manner. The doctor mentioned that perhaps when Stevie was a child his parents made him suppress his sneezes by holding his nose shut. Or maybe anytime that he sneezed he was beaten about the nostrils with a rolled up newspaper or a handy box of breakfast cereal.
Dr. Zoyerfaust, who has offices in Beverly Hills and La Brea, pointed out that one thing for sure Cuckovich is one very sick puppy and he needs to have the principal sit his arrogantly pompous butt down and tell him that if he ever again disciplines any student for saying "God bless you," "Gesundheit," or "Bless you" that he will find his skinny dysfunctional ass standing in line at the nearest unemployment office.
Ling Chow Rangoon reported that the school board made Principal Hansolo Honeyfuggle take Cuckovich's parking space away and he now has to park two blocks down from the school in a parking lot at a Shanghai Sue's Sushi Sandwich Shop.
Rangoon said that she did manage to meet with Mr. Cuckovich but before she could even ask him the first question she got so angry that she literally grabbed the Cuckster by both ears and body slammed him onto one of the pupil's desks.
She then picked him up and gave him an airplane spin finally tossing him on top of a Cuisinart. Luckily for Cuckovich the school janitor Carlos Brizzlegarden saw what was happening and he called 911.
The police arrived 14 minutes later and made Miss Rangoon release the neck hold that she had the Home Ec teacher in.
Cuckovich was treated by the school nurse Tinthia Oxlittle who said that the bruises should all go away within two weeks. Cuckovich complained to the principal and asked him why the hell Ms. Oxlittle felt she had to give him an enema.
The principal simply replied, "TMI" and told him that he was lucky that Nurse Oxlittle didn't follow up with the intended sexual reassignment surgery that she had initially planned on performing.
SIDENOTE: No charges were brought against Miss Ling Chow Rangoon. The authorities did ask that she please stay at least three feet from "Mr. Sniffles" as they jokingly refer to Cuckovich.