Washington--Chris Christie isn't running for president, not until he can find his cock.
"I want to make sure my cock matches the size of my ego. I really haven't seen it in years, so I get a little defensive when people asking me questions that are critical of my cock size." Chris Christie told reporters.
"I know that the Koch brothers said my cock size doesn't matter because they have enough money to make it a non-issue in the presidential election." Chris Christie added.
Chris Christie isn't too worried about his record of sticking it to teachers, poor people, but when it comes to the size of his cock, well, he gets a little too defensive.
"It isn't uncommon for large men of his size to get a little hormonal, but Chris Christie turns into Al Capone when any mentions that his manhood might not match his swagger. It is clear the man needs to diet and start hormonal therapy if he hopes to become president." Dr. Phil told himself.
Chris Christie might run for president when he finds his cock, but right now he is too busy shopping at Thornton Melon's Tall and Fat store to care, because he has an important date with the Koch brothers this Saturday.