Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Thursday, 29 September 2011

image for Old Lady Wins Millions On Facebook Game, Think's She's Rich
Clara Leaves Her Bank After Getting Some Bad News

Yonkers, NY-- Clara Stevens thought she had the luckiest day of her life last week, instead it turned out to a nightmare. The eighty-nine year old widow won $377,493,100.93 by playing a slot machine game on Facebook. The elderly heart-patient screamed with delight after she won the jackpot and danced around her tiny apartment with joy after the big win.

Clara got seven 'Lucky 7's' all in a row for her fantastic win. The odds were better than a trillion to one. Clara immediately withdrew her life's savings of $121,000.00 from the bank, and went on a shopping spree on 5th Avenue in New York City.

The kindly old lady bought expensive jewelery for her five granddaughters and a diamond watch for her only son at Tiffany's. She bought a mink coat for her daughter-in-law and even a diamond collar for her little dog. She then treated herself to an expensive lunch at Maxine's and drank a bottle of expensive champagne to celebrate her great luck.

When Clara returned to her depressing apartment in Yonkers, there was a message for her to contact her bank immediately. A bank representative wanted to alert her that her life's saving was gone.

Clara went to the bank right away. She explained to a kind gentleman that she had won a jackpot on Facebook, and she was expecting a fantastic check from Facebook any day now.

The gentleman at the bank patiently explained to Clara that she had only won 'Facebook dollars'. The money wasn't real, and there would be no check in the mail.

Clara returned home to her Yonkers apartment, crestfallen and heart-broken. She was penniless now, and felt like a fool. Then Clara had a massive heart attack, and died.

"She was a nice lady, but not too bright." said her only son. "There's no fool like an old fool."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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