Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Wednesday, 28 September 2011

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The future for The Dorking Review?

A new book that has divided literary experts in the UK has been banned from school and library shelves in Hog Jaw county, Arkansas, USA.

Top academics at the Oxford, Cambridge and Hounslow universities have been slinging mud at each other over their opinions of The Dorking Review, which was published earlier this month. There have also been riots on the streets of leafy west London suburb, Chiswick, as locals seek to keep the book out of their high street book store.

Now a right-wing religious group in Hog Jaw, the Brothers and Sisters of the Righteous Librarian and Archivist, have persuaded the local authorities that the book has no place in the community.

"That book is an abomination in the eyes of the Librarian, praise be the Dewey Decimal System," says group leader Luther Zwingli Calvin III. "We will not allow our children to be exposed to such shoddy writing, ill-thought plotting and dubious humour.

"Nor should the innocent readers at the public library be left to stumble blindly across this grossness, praise him in whose name we fine you for late returns!"

The Brothers and Sisters arranged a petition and presented it to the county authorities.

Hog Jaw mayor, Dweezil X Sprake, said: "There's only half a dozen signatures on the petition and the suspicion is that they's all the members of the Brotherhood.

"But we had to put the proposed ban to the people and no-one turned up for the vote except the Brotherhood. So the book has to go. Not that we could find any in Hog Jaw anyway. What's it called again?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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