Written by Kyle
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Sunday, 25 September 2011

image for Mexican government finally admit they have lost control
Gracias, señor Presidente, que era una oferta que no podía rechazar

The Mexican government has finally acknowledged that it has lost control of the country and that drug cartels are now running the once proud nation.

The Mexican president, Felipe Calderón, in an announcement beamed live across Mexico stated that he and his government have "thrown in the sombrero".

He said "We are handing control to the drug cartels, each one will be responsible for a specific part of running the country, they are richer, stronger and have more control over the Mexican people than I or the government do. We, as a government, have failed the Mexican people, we are corrupt, unreliable and feel that the cartels can offer more to the people of Mexico than we can."

The new responsibilities of each cartel are as follows:

Sinola Cartel - Law and Order plus Public Relations
Gulf Cartel - Social Security and Employment
Juarez Cartel - Sport and Finance
Tijuana Cartel - Immigration and Tourism
Knights Templar Cartel - Foreign Affairs and Education
Los Zetas Cartel - Health and Defense

Also, as of midnight Sunday, Mexico City will no longer be the capital city of Mexico, all government departments will be ran from the real power base, Nuevo Laredo.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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