Written by misha marinsky
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Topics: Washington, Cats

Tuesday, 3 January 2006

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WASHINGTON, DC - Overcoming their aversion to herding, thousands of purebred Siamese cats staged their first ever march on Washington, DC.

This is really amazing," said Snookie, a two year old seal point male Siamese from Florida. "I can't get over the cooperation," he continued. Snookie also remarked on the helpful, even anticipatory assistance from the District of Columbia authorities.

"They have provided hundreds of public litter boxes, helpfully placed every one hundred feet," Snookie continued. "And it's Fresh Step litter they provided, not a generic brand," he noted.

Bubbles from New York, a one year old female Siamese who is also a seal point, remarked "Actually, I hope our message is not overlooked," she said before interrupting herself to groom her paws. She then continued, "We are here about civil rights."

Bubbles then launched into a diatribe about how Siamese cats are regarded. "We are not aloof, as claimed," she adamantly stated. Bubbles proudly noted that "cats of all breeds were invited to participate in the march." She continued, "We even went as far as making sure the invitations were written in a language anyone could understand. It's not our fault that not even one contingent from any other breed bothered to respond, or came here to participate."

Tipsy, a four year old lilac point female Siamese from San Diego, readily joined in the conversation. "First," she wanted everyone to know, "my name is from my lilac points, not a fondness for alcohol." Tipsy then continued, "I went to everyone in my neighborhood, even the alley cats, showing them the invitation, and asking them to come with me here to Washington. The family of bipeds I live with offered to drive anyone here who wanted to come along. They were really good about this. When I get back to the Sheraton tonight, they promised me anything I wanted for dinner. And they don't make me eat sitting on the floor. I can join them on the table, even while their dinner is being served and eaten. I don't know why in the world those alley cats turned this down."

Baby, an eight year old chocolate point male Siamese from Boston quickly chimed in, "I know exactly what you mean. I couldn't get any other breed to join in. I even went to the Unitarian Church headquarters which is near where I live, and no one was interested. One biped there said something about Iraq being more important. Since when isn't civil rights for cats a pressing issue?"

By that time most of the marchers had passed, and all of the cats excused themselves to join the few stragglers.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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