Washington--Bob Turner is going to Washington, and he promised change that American people can believe in and change Americans can use to buy things they don't need.
"I already know what it is like to deal with dysfunctional people, infidelity, homophobia, and fighting, since I created the phenomenon of outlandish reality television. I feel I can get things done in Washington by showing people that fighting is a good thing."
When asked what changes he can really make in Washington? Mr. Turner said: "I hope to change C-SPAN, so people actually start watching it and getting more involved in the political process. I think viewers what to have a bigger say in what is aired on the channel.
"I also think Washington could use a few tweaks. Maybe Tea Party Jello Wrestling while Congressmen and Congresswomen debate important social issues? How about free paternity testing for all members of Congress, so they don't have to be blackmailed by their staff? What about guess your Congressman or Congresswoman fetish? Oh, wouldn't that be great."