Vatican--Karl Rove is sick of exploiting the weak-minded with tales of how some mysterious figure is trying to take away all their rights.
"I feel the horrible burden of my sins, all the lies, like Republicans care about the unborn children of poor women, and Republicans want smaller government. Sure, I have a gift for raising money and make fools look qualified to run the government, but it doesn't make it easy to sleep at night. Now, that I found God, I feel He has forgiven my sins." Karl Rove told reporters.
Karl Rove decided to join the Catholic Church because of the large number of members the church has in its fold, and thanks to the annulment the church granted him due his divorce.
"We can use a guy that can raise lots of money, and knows how to get people to think crazy ideas are good for them. I am not saying that we will use him for this purpose, but I feel it will help as we seek to expand our base, I mean flock." Archbishop Timothy Dolan said on his blog.
The pope couldn't be reached for comment, but his spokesman said that the Roman Catholic Church looks forward to ordaining Karl Rove as a priest.