Written by UWGB-Beek
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Topics: Donald Rumsfeld

Monday, 12 September 2011

Washington--Donald Rumsfeld went to Twitter to tell the world that his dogs won't be peeing on the New York Times anymore, now that he canceled his subscription to the liberal rag.

"I can't believe a pundit would say something controversial, it just seems so Un-American to give an opinion when it runs contrary to the lies of war. I spent many hours faking documents and taking the fall when things went bad in Iraq and do I get any thanks." Donald Rumsfeld told a lucky New York Times customer service rep when he called to cancel his paper.

Donald Rumsfeld canceled his subscription after Paul Krugman said that 9/11 was "wedge issue" and "used to justify an unrelated war" in his op-ed piece.

"I was just surprised a guy that worked for Nixon could even be offended by the truth. My piece makes logical sense, or did he mean morally offensive, not sure which definition of repugnant he is using to attack my op-ed piece?" Krugman said.

Donald Rumsfeld denied the true reason he canceled his subscription was to use the money to pay for his subscription to Glenn Becks new program, because his government pension means money is tight.

Rumsfeld's dogs issued their own statement on Twitter: "We will miss the comfort of educated words, 'Times' makes for good bathroom reading."

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