Written by matthatt
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Topics: Food, Obesity, Diet

Thursday, 8 September 2011

image for PJ Harvey picked by Cameron to be Obesity Tsar
Polly on holiday earlier this year.

It has been 'all go' since winning her second Mercury prize and it doesn't look as if the media merry go round shows any signs of slowing for pops diminutive, happy go lucky and playful poppet, Polly Jean Harvey.

After a whirlwind tour of breakfast show sofas and tea time telly talk, the freshly re-crowned pop princess is looking to get her teeth into a much meatier m├ętier. 'Pop music is great' said the slender songstress 'But many of the people that I am trying to get my message across to, just don't listen to my music, so when Dave BBM'ed me to help sort out the salad dodgers, I jumped at the chance, not to high though as I have to be careful my legs don't snap when I land.'

The hope is that Pollys emaciated frame and passionate delivery will inspire Primark porkers and tracky-bottom fatties to ditch the fried food and look to a healthier way of attempting to fill the vacuous hole in their disenfranchised souls.

'I know they scoff cheap cake and smart-price oven chips because they are miserable about their lot in life' Said the caring Mercury prize hoarder 'but I think I can help make a difference by teaching these 'people' by example, although, I do admit that I personally don't eat much, in fact most days I derive the majority of my sustenance from breathing in warm Bovril fumes'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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