Prime Minister David Cameron has announced that he wants young offenders to get what he calls "tough love" to help them leave their lives of crime. This new policy follows his previous statement that he wants to "hug a hoodie".
The PM demonstrated what he means by his tough love programme with his wife Sarah. She forced him to wear stockings and spanked him thoroughly. The government now plans to set up such punishment centres across the country to give this tough love to rioters and other scum. This will also provide state jobs to sadists and people who have forgotten what a job is.
Other types of tough love can include an affectionate slap or a friendly punch in the face. It is thought that chavs who regularly receive this tough love punishment for their misdemeanours will either change their behaviour or kill themselves - either way they will no longer be a problem for society.