Written by Percival
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Saturday, 3 September 2011

image for Rioting Youths Deemed Too Employable By Department For Work And Pensions
Far too organised

The Honorable Symian Rench'Fister O.B.E, D.C.O, G.I.T, Senior Secretary at the Department for Works and Pensions. Broke away from official governmental policy today. Stating at a press conference, that the recent spate of civil disorder in Britain had inadvertently shown a highly revealing, and unrealized facet of British society.

The Honorable Rench'Fister went on to outline the fundamental flaw in the governments handling of the situation.

"Through the medium of 24 hour televisual news. The general public were exposed to the most disturbing imagery, and may I say, hand fisted news coverage of recent times. "

The Honorable Rench'Fister continues:

"A ceaseless array of up to the minuet reports, and number 10 press releases flowed into the homes of the honest hard working people of this great nation of ours. The rabid images of wild youths thoughtlessly running around our town squares. Texting, organising local drop off points for stolen goods, and still finding the time to express mindless violence. Whilst simultaneously updating their social network status. Has shown the average British citizen of this country, how woefully inadequate his/her respective skill bases are in the 21st century job market.

After all, these uncontrollable minions from the provinces, with their Fine Booties, Boo Yacker Shars, and Tastie Beats. Have shown scant regard for the social order. There are people in the regional transportation sector, who have steadily honed their inability to react in an effective way to challenges. Over a period of many years. Are we to disregard their honest efforts? As for the police....Need I say more? These reprobates must be brought to heel. This unfettered multitasking by the youth of today, must be quashed. Lest we all find ourselves forced into retraining programs, careers advice seminars, and ultimately jobs with real world responsibilities. We go to all the trouble of bombing the shit out of inconsequential foreigners, and the government permits this kind of news coverage. Were the hell are our politicians? The people we elected to blur this, and other issues?"

Controversy has accompanied the Hon Rench'Fister's comments. In the light of a recent Parliamentary Committee audit, of MP's financial interests in Retail Sector Reconstruction. Number 10 has not issued any response.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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