The Royal Equality Team for the Assessment of the Rights of the Disabled (RETARD) have released a report indicating that the pay gap between disabled people and able-bodied people is wider than ever.
The report describes shocking statistics such as how much less someone can expect to earn given a specific disability. Blind bus drivers earn a fraction of their sighted colleagues, and are 500% more likely to be fired. The average manager will earn 20% less if he has one of his legs missing. Disabled groups are hopping mad.
The report does contain some positive news. Deaf people can earn extra money by working as roadies at Lady Gaga concerts, which most able-bodied people are not willing to do.
In general, it is estimated that it will take approximately 3 million years for the disabled to earn as much as the able-bodied, although this is based on the assumption that they will have evolved tentacles by then.