Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: Police, ninja

Tuesday, 30 August 2011

image for Ninjas to patrol British cities because the "Old Bill" can't hack it!
Soon to be seen in all British cities Ninja Bills and Kens; hallelujah!

A new law enforcement agency is being introduced into Britain called the Ninja Patrol. It seems that the British police force are totally out of their depth dealing with deviant criminal practices rife in most UK cities, i.e. drug dealing, child prostitution, gang-warfare, rioting, looting, bashing grannies over the head, hoodie warfare, anti-social behaviour, illegal immigrants, etc.

The Ninja Patrol has been running trials down in the Somerset town of Yeovil; once a lovely, homely market town now full of deviant criminals and the lonely Ninja patrol-man, Ken Andre, not Jacky Chan, all dressed up in his black uniform including his Samurai sword, has been successfully patrolling the streets at night for the last 6 years.

A few headless bodies of low-life criminals have been found swimming in the river, but there was absolutely no evidence that Ninja Ken had anything to do with it.

The trials have been so successful that the UK police force have decided to introduce Ninja Patrols all over the country, especially after the latest riots.

The public have been warned; if they see any headless bodies floating in the local rivers and ponds ignore them because they're low-life anyway and the normal public should be quite happy that they are floating there instead of making their lives even more miserable.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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