Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 29 August 2011

image for Nasty business as Charles serves up Destroying Angel mushroom bake supper
His St George's Day Mushroom ratatouille is the prime exhibit at the UK's National Poisons Unit archives

Scotland - 'Fun guy or fungi?' was the dilemma today after a back-to-nature weekend photo-op backfired horribly on the Prince, snapped in ridiculous tartan galoshes picking mushrooms near Loch Ness.

This morning his locally foraged mushroom hotpot - a spécialité de la maison in the Birkhall table d'hôte menu - remains the prime culprit as Balmoral Infirmary battles with the nauseating fallout.

Doctors said 'sick to the pit of her stomach' is the official prognosis after the Queen wolfed down extra portions of the PoW's delicacy at a family get together on Sunday night.

Symptoms are said to include vomiting, diarrhea, convulsions, cramps, delirium and hallucinations ("but I AM the bloody Queen, you stupid quack!") as suspicions grew about rogue ingredients.

Of course this isn't the first time some dreadful organically sourced toadstool has landed Prince Charles in the soup.

A 2001 near-lethal brush with some Amanita phalloides death caps saw the Queen and Duke of Edinburgh laid out for over a week with 'the runs' amid doctors' suspicions of deliberate poisoning.

And false chanterelles served at his April 2005 wedding breakfast were later blamed for the Camilla throwing a sickie on the all-important nuptial consummation night.

"Prince Charles's culinary skills are the stuff of legend," his majordomo said at lunchtime today.

"Ridiculous to suggest he might tamper with toxic ingredients just to fast track his ascent to the Throne."

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