As reports come in that former Libyan leader, Colonel Muammar Gadaffi has successfully escaped to Zimbabwe, witnesses report that Zimbabwean president, Robert Mugabe has told Gaddafi to keep his pecker up and always look on the bright side of life.
According to sources, Doctor Bob, as Zimbabweans affectionately call him (particularly dispossessed white farmers) has long been inspired by the plucky optimism of Eric Idle's character in the film Monty Python's Life Of Brian.
As Idle's character is crucified in the dramatic climax of the film, he bursts into song, singing amongst other things that 'life's a piece of shit, when you look at it.'
Mugabe, renowned for his jovial disposition, and love of practical jokes, apparently sent an identical message to Saddam Hussein, and Osama Bin Laden.
"He's a card is Doctor Bob!" large breasted actress annd reality TV contestant Cleo Rocos - who used to be on The Kenny Everett Show - laughed. "He'll say anything for a giggle. He isn't at all like that miserable bastard, Jacob Zuma."
Supermodel, Naomi Campbell, denied ever sharing an intimate dinner for two with Gaddafi, Mugabe, or Jacob Zuma, although she did admit to 'dining' with then Liberian president Charles Taylor. She denied all knowledge about blood diamonds.
Disgraced Scottish politician and one-time Celebrity Big Brother contestant, George Galloway, who once did a kitten impression on the show and almost licked actress Rula Lenska's arse, allegedly said in private, to a trusted friend:
"It's a crying shame what's happening in Libya. Muammar and I were mates. I'll miss visiting him in his Tripoli compound. But not half as much as I shall miss that nubile Libyan beauty who used to wank me off in the hot tub of an evening."
Scottish pop singer, Lulu, who is in amazing nick for a woman her age, said that she didn't know much about any of this, but admitted that she knows the pop song 'Shout!' off by heart, and that she really enjoyed recording 'Relight My Fire' with Take That.
Monty Python star, Eric Idle, was unavailable for comment, as he was busy watching a DVD box set of former Python colleague Michael Palin's Pole To Pole, and writing a new sit-com about a manic Torquay hotelier.
More bullshit as it comes in.