Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Thursday, 25 August 2011

image for Top Academic Fumes Over History GCSE Decline
History? What's that then?

Controversial academic Ken Lucid has lambasted government policy on teaching after it emerged that 159 state schools failed to enter any pupils for history GCSE this year.

The Department Of Education revealed the figures on the day that pupils across the country collect their GCSE results.

They suggest that the schools, which teach around 150,000 pupils, cannot offer history as a distinct subject at GCSE - even for those children who want to study it.

History is on the National Curriculum until the age of 14. In many cases, schools that don't teach the subject at this level offer a generic humanities course.

"Bloody hell!" Blasted Prof Lucid today. "What a complete and utter shambles! Those bastards in Whitehall are completely screwing up our education system.

"I bet those knobheads all got history at their Etons and their bloody Harrows. Tossers!

"Humanities! Give me a break. No wonder the kids who come to us know none of the basics and expect history to be a doddle.

"Let me at some of those education bureaucrats... I'll shove their effin' humanities somewhere in their personal geography where the sun never rises, let alone sets."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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