Scotland - Images of fallen idol Muammar Gaddafi's decapitated bronze head pictured in a Tripoli kickabout have set off huge tremors at Balmoral Castle.
Palace flunkies were ordered to black out the offending pix from Her Majesty's breakfast Red Tops after someone pointed out the remarkable facial similarity to Queen Elizabeth.
"There'll be a riot if she gets a gander at what's going on in Libya," liveried manservant John Brown (no relation) told backstairs scullery maids this morning.
Royal servants had been warned about decades of rumors circulating that the Mad Dog of the Middle East is HM's son - by dastardly Chilean despot General Augusto Pinochet RIP.
Today that tittle-tattle was borne out as Libyan rebels fooled around in front of Western cameras wiping their battle-weary boots on the bronze and even urinating on it as anti-Gaddafi defiance headed towards a national climax.
"We'll give HM - er...him! - until Bank Holiday weekend, heheh!" armed forces sources said today.