Written by Bob
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Topics: Language, English

Monday, 27 October 2003

image for Welsh admit, "Our language is a scam"
Welsh - One of the defining factors in Jif's name change

Today the Welsh Assembly confirmed long held suspicions - that the Welsh language is only there to piss the English off.

Roadsigns, documents and forms anywhere near Wales have to be bi-lingual even though all Welsh people speak English anyway. Welsh language expert Ghryfys Llwlyllynwyllyn told The Spoof, "We make it up as we go along when there are English people around, it's quite funny really. Why do you think there are no vowels in my name? It's to piss you off!"

The Welsh language has had non-Welsh linguists dumbfounded as it appears to be complete rubbish. Welsh activist Iown Gogogogh said, "We won't give up our language, but we expect this admittance to be rewarded with proper devolution. No-more of this Assembly crap, we want a Parliament, like Scotland."

The Belgians also admitted that Flemish was a fake language. One Belgian said, "We just want to fit in and have our own language."

This statement was dismissed as an attempt to draw attention to Belgium.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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