Birmingham - The latest rash of Palace riot tourism hit Birmingham today with the arrival of royal eyesores William and Kate.
Bewildered locals were subjected to an hour of Middleton's relentless hair-flicking as the grief-gawping walkabout proceeded through the city.
"WTF is she wearing?" Winson Green charity shop manager Lottie McCardie demanded as locals recoiled at Kate's choice of outfit.
"Looks like something recycled by Hyacinth Bouquet from the Beeb sitcom Keeping Up Appearances."
Self-style duchess Kate was wearing yet another horribly over-priced middle-aged outfit from the House of McQueen 'tragic' transgender collection for her debut Brum stroll.
"Yeah, and another thing," McCardie addded, "what about the way she totters with her left arm out at waist height - as if expecting the oiks to kiss that engagement ring?
"Reminds me of Danny LaRue at the London Palladium doing his Queen Mother stand-up act."
Last month the Palace was anxious to distance itself from Middleton's sartorial cock-ups - described as having run the full frock-horror gamut from A to Z.
A press release stressed that Kate's dress sense is 100% 'congenital/inherited' and nothing to do with any official style code.
Pippa Middleton looks 49.