Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 16 August 2011

image for Florence dumps Harry amid vile rumors he's Rebekah Brooks/Nick Clegg's spawn
Born with a swastika birthmark on his willy this royal interloper has been dumped by his squeeze

London - Blonde lingerie model Florence Brudenell-Bruce has pulled the plug on her Prince Harry romance after some 'horrid' DNA test results.

The royal impostor, who has made a megabux living impersonating Harry, is livid at being rumbled by what Prince Philip's called a bra 'n' knickers 'tart'.

During the Wills/Kate royal wedding breakfast Flo - or Flee to her friends - famously made Philip dribble with an uncontrollable libido spasm after joking that she might just be wearing a rubberised thong.

The old boy had to be restrained by Palace security as an involuntary twitch wracked his gnarly frame.

At her London pad today the pretty 25 year-old was saying nothing as paparazzi patrolled her favorite watering holes.

The former Jenson Button squeeze is said to be dating one of England's Test Cricket team and has no regrets over the Harry business.

A Clarence House PR campaign claiming it was the Gingertop who'd dumped her for the glory of his Apache helicopter piloting career has been called 'quaint' by her modelling pals.

Meanwhile in Afghanistan a Taleban war lord's eldest daughter has filed for a $100 million divorce settlement for herself and her three year old ginger-haired twins amid reports she's the legit Mrs Wales.

Fatti-ma Bin Laden McShergar says her 2007 wedding certificate 'will bring down the feckless House of Windsor lie'.

The case will be heard at Kabul Family Court just as soon as news of Harry's arrival in the capital is confirmed.

Chelsy Davey is 69.

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