Anglesey, Wales - "They're pretty much following Fourth Protocol assembly instructions," blue watch Commander 'Foxy' Perkins confirmed this morning as yet another enriched uranium parcel arrived bearing Pyongyang postage stamps.
"Something's sure to blow big time if they don't get a slice of the Crown Estate dosh!"
Of course, the veteran of myriad hush-hush campaigns had already wired up the Wales' cottage with high tech monitoring gizmos when a tip-off secured from a local rioter's plea bargain upheld worst case scenario fears.
"Yeah, Special Branch fingered Prince Harry's bagman for that Crystal Palace arson job," Perkins explained, "merely confirming what we knew all along, heheh!"
Round the clock surveillance of the Anglesey retreat soon picked up classic signs of KGB training as Kate's gym-toned biceps suddenly developed whip-like tendrils where veins had previously flourished.
"She's been shovelling shit under the cottage basement where we think the bomb factory's taking shape," Perkins added.
"Wanna see pics of their outdoor hot tub that conceals access to the Killing Cellar?"