Written by Mark MacDonald
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Saturday, 13 August 2011

Boris Johnson, Mayor of London has claimed that the London Riots could have been a lot worse if it wasn't for the congestion charge.

"Look here, although thousands of bloody "chavs" took to the streets most of the streets were actually clear of traffic due to the congestion charge. Most of the rioters had to take public transport and a lot of them just decided to stay at home. I believe that a lot of them wouldn't have came onto the streets if it wasn't because their houses were on fire. You can't bloody blame me for that, I was on holiday."

The Mayors office have announced that a company has been instructed to create a multi million pound report to discover how many people actually arrived at the riots using personal vehicles.

Although in typical Boris fashion he was overheard in the back of his limousine slagging off the Police "Where is the bloody Police when you need them eh. I waited all bloody year for that holiday and not an ash cloud in site. This never happened to Red Ken. What was it Gordon Brown said again when he was caught. oh this isn't the rehearsal...whoops"

A spokesman for Boris said "Boris is Boris, bloody good at tennis...oh that Boris, yeah he's ok too"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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