Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 13 August 2011

image for Crimewatch Presenter Nick Ross Caught On CCTV Looting Curry's At Clapham Junction
One Of The Looters Facing Westminster Magistrates This Morning.

There was turmoil at the BBC today, when a Crimestoppers call, forwarded by the Metropolitan Police, alleged that Crimewatch presenter, Nick Ross was allegedly spotted on CCTV footage, dragging a 50" HD plasma screen TV out of a branch of Curry's, close to Clapham Junction rail station, during the recent riots, looting, arson and general civil disorder which engulfed the capital.

And then putting it in the back of a white transit van, before going back into the store, and supplementing his haul with at least two dozen X-Box consoles.

And a Commodore Amiga 500, a Wii Fit, a Sinclair Spectrum, a Sega Megadrive, and several Sonic Hedgehog cartridges.

"I swear it was him, that Nick Ross out of Crimewatch," local pensioner, Andrea Truelove, 99, of Alzheimer Mansions, Clapham, told reporters. "So I phoned it in to Crimestoppers. And this nice man with a Georgie accent like that Cheryl Call girl, took me details. Ooh! He was a right frisky one. Arsked me wot colour me blinkin' bloomers were, he did. Saucy young man! Ooh! I say! I'm comin' over all queer! Anyway - he arst me if I was sure it woz Nick Ross, and I said it probably was, but he had a hoody on. Then the saucy Georgie bloke arst me if someone was lookin' arfter me. Seemed 'appy 'e did when I told 'im I was snuggling up wiv Georgie Best in me bed and bid me goodnight 'e did. Saucy young thing! I could've sworn I seen that Nice Dale Winton doin' a supermarket sweep at Aldi's up the Arsenal too, but I knew it couldn't 'ave been 'im coz they don't go much for poofters up the Arsenal."

A BBC spokesperson, speaking from under a desk in besieged Media City in Salford, advised reporters not to attach too much credence to a single report that Crimewatch presenter, Nick Ross had suddenly resorted to ransacking in order to pay the bills.

"It's probably some daft old bat," they said.

The BBC advises that violent crime is a relatively rare occurrence, but advises viewers to ensure that the batteries in their smoke alarms are replaced regularly.

Nick Ross denies the allegations.

A likely story!

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