Written by Rebel Not Taken
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Friday, 12 August 2011

image for Pussy crisis strikes Chiswick
Feral Chiswick cats on Turnham Green.

Chiswick is facing it's biggest pussy crisis to date, according to local resident Flossie Clunge:
"They sometimes keep me up all night" said Miss Clunge, a retired cleaner from Turnham Green.

A refusal by owners to neuter their pussies is being cited as the main reason for the pandemic.

Now Hounslow Council have entered the catfight with proposals for pensioners, people from Acton, and those on low incomes to have their pussies castrated for free.

"Chiswick folk are concerned about feral pussies roaming around their gardens and sheds" said Bedford Park councillor Eric Nonce.

Chiswick Loves It's Tomcats (CLIT), a charity network of foster homes and vets, have told reporters that "never before have such high numbers of pussies needed help."

But the charity is arguing that neutering is "too expensive" and "not culturally acceptable for the pussy lovers of Hounslow":

"We'd love to be able to do more, but the cost of castrating just one pussy is a minimum of £150, after it has been microchipped and treated for worms and fleas" said CLIT spokeswoman Doris Slapper.

Marjorie Fosdyke-Spratt, a CLIT trustee, claims that the knock on effect of not castrating the animals has caused an inevitable rise in the number of feral incidents in the neighbourhood:

"Pussies get so hungry they will attack pigeons and small dogs and get involved in huge cat fights" warned Miss Fosdyke-Spratt.

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