London - In a packed House of Commons televised debate Bullingdon's renowned top dog spelled out surrender terms for the nation's feuding scum.
"Not on my turf, sickos!" was PM Cameron's clarion call as the UK's No One gang leader reasserted his supremacy over marauding proletariat scum.
The extraordinary session of Parliament had been called after rival factions throughout the land threw down the gauntlet on the Bullingdon's power stranglehold.
The Oxford Massive - as it is also known - remains notorious for its priviledged members' wealth and destructive binges.
Its 'rump' has been sitting pretty for a considerable time with the PM, the Chancellor of the Exchequer and the Mayor of London all holding key Bullingdon turf positions.
Following last weekend's series of street power challenges the panicking Bullingdon hierarchy hotfooted it home from luxury Tuscan holiday villa hideaways and far-flung exotic idylls.
"The fightback starts here!" PM Cameron promised as mesmerised MPs closed ranks in support.
"Wanna see pix of Mussolini - er...me and Sam! - sunning ourselves beside the pool?"