Written by David St.John
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Thursday, 11 August 2011

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Scotland: First Minister Alex Salmond today hit back at news agencies for describing the riots as English riots, the Scottish Premier was shocked to find out that no riots were going on in his beloved country, and has accused the media of an English bias.

"We've got an amazing country," explained the Braveheart loving politician, "there is no reason for the people of Scotland to not want to riot as we have as much social deprivation, if not more, than the hated English. Our glorious nation has a long history of violence of which we are very proud, in fact, we originated the famous fighting saying 'Are you lookin at me pal?'"

Mr Salmond has been accused by his political opponents of trying to make political capital out of the situation.

One commentator noted "The First Minister is desperate to prove he has something useful to say and is willing to jump on any bandwagon to get his name in the papers. However the truth of the matter is riots are near impossible in Scotland as everything is just to wet to burn."

Scottish Health Minister, Nicola Sturgeon joined in the debate saying "It's just typical of the English based press to claim everything as theirs only yesterday Scotland was put top of a poll for drug use in Europe, at last we're top of something, but did we get any mention south of the border? No, it's all England, England, England."

Mr Salmond's opponents in the Scottish parliament have described him as "an embarrassment".

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