Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Wednesday, 10 August 2011

image for They've Gorn Orf To Live In The Tower!
Reassuring view of the bridge

The Queen and Prince Philip have moved home to Her Majesty's Royal Palace and Fortress 'The Tower of London'. The decision has been taken because of the recent riots in the capital. The plan now is for Buckingham Palace to become a new London museum.

Tourists will be allowed inside the famous building, paying to have guided tours around it's royal rooms. The opportunity to actually enter Buckingham Palace rather than to simply admire the historic building from outside the surrounding gates is bound to bring a big increase of visiting tourists there.

The Queen, now eighty-five, became terrified on Monday evening when watching the riots taking place across London on television. When she heard reports of police being unable to take control of the situation she feared the rampaging youths would soon reach Buckingham Palace to then set it ablaze.

Prince Philip assured her they'd be perfectly safe where they were for the time being pointing out to her from their bedroom window at Buckingham Palace how the rising smoke they could see was still a few miles away, but neither of them got any sleep on Monday night and when Tuesday morning arrived The Queen insisted her mind was made up - they were both going orf to the safety of 'The Tower'.

Prime Minister David Cameron tried to tell her she'd be perfectly safe now that he was back, but the old Queen would not be swayed. She and Philip are believed to be currently living in one of the higher rooms at the fortress in the borough of Tower Hamlets where they have a good view overlooking the river Thames, and the famous Tower Bridge. While the bridge would not hold back rioting youths attacking from areas like Hackney, nevertheless the fact that youths trying to attack from South of the river could be delayed by raising the bridge is something Queen Elizabeth II is said to be finding reassuring.

The roads around the Tower of London are likely to remain open to traffic during daylight hours for the time being though will now be closed between 8pm and 8am. It is understood the whole area will eventually be walled off so that the elderly couple can enjoy their view of the Thames, and take a nap during the day without being disturbed by the noise of the traffic.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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