Manchester has suffered the worst riots and public unrest in the city's history. Yobs, youths, and grown men that should know better, laid siege to the centre of Manchester last night.
A government spokesman said early this morning:
"These folk are in danger of crossing the line. If they keep this up, were going to be very very angry. And we tell them to stop it "or else". If they don't, then we'll send them a very strong letter, telling them how cross we are. And if they still don't stop this nonsense, then we'll put the parents in court. And then, if that doesn't work, well give them an asbo, or a suspended sentence. And wait until they grow up."
But government wisdom didn't stop there:
"We could just play classical music across the trouble spots. We know the yobs dont like that. It works outside Tesco, and town benches. If that doesn't work, than we may well have to send them all on an adventure holiday to Africa, or America. Failing that, we could just wait until they get bored of it. History tells us that kids have a very short attention span."
So as Police (the normal ones), sit in a big room, with a big screen, with a notepad each and write down all the local kids they recognize, and bust them in the morning, it doesn't seem so bad to have such a educationally challenged police force, because let's be honest, these lads aren't rocket scientists.
Best of luck kids, cause by fuck, your gonna need it. Your bang in the shit now.