Written by Moys Kenwood
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Wednesday, 10 August 2011

image for London Riots Spread To Bangkok
A man with pointed hands and feet throwing a flannel in a washing basket

The unsightly riots that have gripped the city of London over the last three nights have now made their presence felt in other parts of the world, and have even spread to the far-off outpost of the Thai capital of Bangkok, it has been claimed.

The chaos, which was also reported to have taken place in cities such as Birmingham, Liverpool, Manchester and Bristol, was sparked by a public furore over the price of a bag of chips, and an extra 1,700 police officers were deployed in the capital alone yesterday.

Meanwhile, in Bangkok, an Englishman living in the city was reported to be "uncontrollably angry" after a croissant he was toasting became stuck in his toaster.

It was so badly burned, that it had to be thrown away.

Moys Kenwood, 48, boiled with rage, and took out his anger on a nearby piece of paper, which he screwed into a ball very tightly, and threw it at the bin, missing by some distance.

Kenwood then rang his friend and told him of the incident, whereupon his friend tittered, sending the hapless 'teacher' into a further spasm of ire. On ending the call, he sulked in a chair for more than ten minutes before going out for some fresh air.

So far, say Bangkok police, there have been no other London Riot-related disturbances, but they are 'braced and ready for action' should the need arise.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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