Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Monday, 8 August 2011

image for London's Burning! Riots Persist for Another Night
Thought everyone was happy.

Prime Minister David Cameron has cut short his holiday abroad and is trying to book a flight back to the UK to take control of the serious situation in the capital where thousands of youths have seized control of the streets.

The rampaging youths continue to loot shops and stores before setting them ablaze and have so far managed to stop police from getting to them by throwing hot water bottles at the lines of riot police officers who are wearing heavy boots and so are unable to catch the youths who are wearing designer trainers.

Due to hosepipe restrictions in the capital police are not allowed to use water cannon against the rioting youths and only a few of London's firefighting vehicles have permission to leave there stations to tackle the blazes with hosepipes.

The Prime Minister has telephoned orders to Scotland Yard for the police to collect as many cobras from London zoo as they can to throw back at the youths who continue to throw illegally filled hot water bottles at them. Several police officers have already required treatment for burns after being scalded by water bottles the youths have thrown at the police without screwing down the stoppers tightly.

The Prime Minister has been advised not to book a flight to any airport near London but to go to a safer airport of a different city.

Speaking from the airport where Mr Cameron is still waiting for an available flight back to the UK he said, "I can't understand what the young people of Britain are so angry about. I thought the policies we'd brought in since we came to power had made everyone happy".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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