Written by Katarina Frogpond2
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Sunday, 7 August 2011

image for Spokesperson for the Duchess Of Cambridge Hits Back At Kelly Osbourne Criticism
Kelly's Champagne Lifestyle is so Last Century.

A spokesman for The Duchess of Cambridge has hit back at criticism from Kelly Osborne about recycling her fabulous dresses.

The spokesman is said to have asked "What planet is Kelly Osborne living on? I work with some of the most out of touch people in the world and even they know we're living in tough times where economic shopping is a necessity not a fashion crime."

The Spokeman went on to say that Princess Catherine was just like everyone else, trying to save a few pennies here and there. He said "Catherine feels the world's financial pain, and she shops accordingly"

Kelly Osborne doesn't appear to feel any pain for the world at all. She just carries on shopping, and eating, and starving and eating. That is apparently why no one sees her in the same dress twice, because she can't fit into the same dress twice, because of her constant shape shifting.

Kate Middleton on the other hand can wear every item of clothing she has ever bought, any time she likes, because her physique is always in the same state of constant perfection.

The spokesman went on to imate that Kate isn't very interested in what she wears, anyway. He said "She's more interested in charity and making people happy. Maybe Kelly should look the word charity up in the dictionary. She does't appear to know what it means."

A representative from a soup kitchen charity in New York is believed to have said "This girl needs to come see us, and see what life is really like. She could do some voluntary work helping to feed people who have nothing to wear but the clothes they stand up in. Kate knows about people like that, and I think that's why she recycles her outfits"

Kelly was unavailable to answer questions because she'd gone shopping, and eating, and starving, and shopping.

By Katarina Frogpond

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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