Written by Mc T
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Topics: Christmas, Santa

Monday, 27 October 2003

image for Santa wanted for International Discrimination
Santa - Attending fancy dress party as Santa

There were defiant vibes around the UN today as it passed a resolution to bring the Father of Christmas, aka Santa Claws, to an International Court of Justice. The resolution is aimed at Santa's sinfully unfair delivery of presents to the world. With the USA, Japan and Europe making up 95% of Santa's deliveries, it is clear that Santa is a real Scrooge when it comes to the rest of the World.

A National Geographic article last Christmas gave a report on Abdul Aggabooboo age 9 from Chad. It reported about Abdul's dreams of following in the footsteps of Africa's finest steeple chasing Olympians. He wrote to Santa, at the cost of a week's wages for a stamp, requesting a pair of cheap branded trainers. When Christmas day came Abdul was cruelly left a pencil without the rest of the paraphernalia one would expect e.g. sharpener, paper or an eraser. Ironically, in a bitter twist, some fat kid in Texas got 5 pairs of Nike trainers specially designed for steeple chasing.

The resolution seems to have united the World, but some quarters of the UN believe the US to have its own motives for stopping Santa's World Managed Discrimination (WMD). One leaked report from the White House had this to say "God only knows what could happen if Santa's Sledge fell in to the wrong hands. With its stealth technology and the ability to travel around the globe in hours, we'd be at the mercy of any rogue individual"

A Consortium of parcel delivering companies welcomed the Resolution. Their spoke man said "Santa's ability to deliver 1 billion carefully wrapped parcel, to over 100 countries, in a day at the busiest time of year is clearly a threat to our commercial survival"

I questioned Santa and asked him if he had a good lawyer, but he laughed off the UN claims with a "ho, ho, ho!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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