Written by Ollie Trout
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Wednesday, 3 August 2011

McDonalds are to launch a cheeky new burger called the Morrissey in retaliation to the singer's scathing attack on the fast food outlets. The burger is set to contain a triple deck of ham, beef and chicken and it's advertising slogan will be 'You're the one for me fatty', named after one of Morrissey's hit songs.

Morrissey, former front man of popular eighties band The Smiths caused controversy last week when he claimed the devastating attacks in Norway were nothing compared to what happens in McDonalds and KFC everyday. But McDonalds are unhappy that Morrissey has lambasted them in the face of tragic events elsewhere.

A spokesman for the world's largest burger chain explained the reasons for this antagonistic new burger. He said ' We understand Morrissey is a devoted vegetarian and he is entitled to his opinions but accusing our company of being worse than a massacre in Norway in which seventy six innocent people lost their lives is ridiculous, so we thought we'd bring out this burger in response. It's just a little light hearted fun and perhaps a little one up for the people of Norway. I'm sure Mr Morrissey will see the funny side'.

The general public were split in their views of the astonishing new burger.

Regular burger muncher Mr O. Bese from Suedehead said 'I think it's a great idea. Apparently it's going to be three burgers in a bun, no sauce, no lettuce, nothing, a bit dull really, just like Morrissey's music'.

Lucy Chaplow from the Vegetarian Elite Group was not so enthused though. 'I was upset at McDonalds before but 'Heaven knows I'm miserable now'.

When asked how long it would be until the Morrissey burger hit the restaurants a spokesman said 'How soon is now?'.

The 52 year old singer has yet to comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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