Written by Bob Muppet
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Topics: Murder, History

Sunday, 26 October 2003

image for David Blaine Claims His Feet Are Killing Him
David's Guilty Foot -- Shown In Happier Times

David Blaine,the top escapologist and yoga expert, made legal history when he became the first person to get his feet convicted of attempted murder.

‘It's my blinking feet,' explained David ‘they are out of control. They won't be happy until they have strangled me.'

‘One minute I am in the ‘lotus' position, and the next minute my blinking toes have wrapped around my throat, strangling the life out of me.'

‘I've talked to one of them nice lawyers and they reckon that I can sue my feet for thousands of pounds.' he boasted.

Alan Bond, a medical expert, was unable to explain the phenomenon.

‘Maybe young David has haunted feet,' he suggested, ‘or maybe his feet are just part of the growing menace of the compensation culture.' he added.

'Or maybe it's just an illusion!'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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