Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 30 July 2011

image for 'Trashy' Zara in fake tan riddle
Style icons like these two may have influenced bride-to-be Zara Phillips

Edinburgh - Z-Listers' sartorial frock-horror plummeted new depths on Friday as Zara Phillips took centre stage in an asymmetrical fake tan and mini-dress combo.

The one-shouldered tie-dye gown was casually draped over a part-tanned torso revealing the ashen outline of a wide-strap sports bra/bikini top.

"She didn't even bother camouflaging it," a Britannia cocktail waitress commented, "it looked pretty crap for a so-called royal."

However the competition for predictable fashion disasters at Zara and fiance Mike Tindall's eve of wedding cocktail-do on the ex-royal yacht soon hotted up with the arrival of 'Princess' Eugenie and Beatrice.

The flaky offspring of Sarah Ferguson and Prince Andrew had reportedly been getting advice from a $2,000-per-hour topnotch style/make-over consultant.

"They woz robbed!" Harpy's Bizarre Magazine dress design editor Paloma Pizzicatto said in her blog today.

"These pointless royal gravytrain wannabes have inherited all their mother's brain-dead fashion sense ...and their father's chipmunk teeth.

"The combination is mindboggling."

Expect sales in Halloween doll lookalikes to soar later this year.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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