Edinburgh - Z-Listers' sartorial frock-horror plummeted new depths on Friday as Zara Phillips took centre stage in an asymmetrical fake tan and mini-dress combo.
The one-shouldered tie-dye gown was casually draped over a part-tanned torso revealing the ashen outline of a wide-strap sports bra/bikini top.
"She didn't even bother camouflaging it," a Britannia cocktail waitress commented, "it looked pretty crap for a so-called royal."
However the competition for predictable fashion disasters at Zara and fiance Mike Tindall's eve of wedding cocktail-do on the ex-royal yacht soon hotted up with the arrival of 'Princess' Eugenie and Beatrice.
The flaky offspring of Sarah Ferguson and Prince Andrew had reportedly been getting advice from a $2,000-per-hour topnotch style/make-over consultant.
"They woz robbed!" Harpy's Bizarre Magazine dress design editor Paloma Pizzicatto said in her blog today.
"These pointless royal gravytrain wannabes have inherited all their mother's brain-dead fashion sense ...and their father's chipmunk teeth.
"The combination is mindboggling."
Expect sales in Halloween doll lookalikes to soar later this year.