Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 28 July 2011

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Doomed? Zara's wedding to Mike Tindall will bomb star gazers reckon

Edinburgh - The brilliant Sun/Moon/Venus conjunction in Leo is hardly enough to stave off karma Scots star gazers told Zara Phillips today.

The Zodiac sign of kings' triple-whammy celestial fireworks have all the hallmarks of a bolt from the blue - something the aisle-trotting wannabe bride should bear in mind.

At 12-noon the Cannongate Kirk ceremony will be slap bang in the middle of the space/time vortex that has brought notable disasters since the year dot.

These include the 1629 Naples, Italy earthquake (10,000+ dead), the
1865 sinking of the steamboat Brother Jonathan off the California coast, the 1871 death of more than 85 passengers in the Staten Island Ferry Westfield's boiler explosion and the 1975 disappearance of Jimmy Hoffa.

Worse still the bridal foray to the altar means traipising all over the tomb of David Rizzio, the murdered private secretary of feckless mass murdering monarch Mary, Queen of Scots.

"Poor Zara seems deluded in her choice of date and location for the wedding to thuggish rugby player Mike Tindall," a QM Astro Turf Wars co-respondent said today.

"Wanna see pix of her with his rugger mates in a Twickenham changing room sauna?"

Certainly not.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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