Written by Ben Macnair
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Sunday, 24 July 2011

image for David Cameron Launches Midsummer Murders Investigation
And this investigation will be led by Tom Barnaby himself.

David Cameron, popular Prime Minister of the middle right has launched an investigation into the number of suspicious deaths in fictional murder hot-spot Midsummer, with particular emphasis being placed on Tom 'Bergerac' Barnaby and his various comedy police sidekicks.

Midsummer, a place that has seen its Post Office, two pubs, launderette and Butcher fall in the recent recession has a population of less than two thousand, and the number is dropping on a weekly basis, with all types of deaths, both grisly and blackly humourous. Pub Landlords, spinsters with deep dark secrets, members of the clergy and the aristocracy have felt the long arm of death, and subsequently the law.

David Cameron, keen to deflect attention from close personal friends and the media, in an unrelated story said: 'This menace has to be stopped. The death rate in Midsummer is far too high for a population that is so low. I know that ITV (other television networks are also available) has kept a close eye on things, they even have some of the murders on tape, and millions of people have watched what is going on, but I still feel a proper investigation, at tax payers expense is needed'

All the money is on Joyce Barnaby, the underwritten wife of local former plod Tom Barnaby, who other than agreeing with everything her irritating husband says, and supporting actress daughter Cully, who unbelievably never seemed to be out of work had very little to do. The commonly held belief is that she ran a brothel, serving the needs of prominent people, and hence her position, and that of her family was always above the law.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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