Written by LancsHatter
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Topics: Police, Britain, Thief

Friday, 22 July 2011

image for Financial cuts to police service puts game birds at risk

Planned cuts in the police department may not be popular with many, but one section of society who are elated with the news are thieves. LancsNews's talented and outrageous reporter Taribo West tracked a robber and found him in his secret cave.

The criminal, who likes to be referred to as Nick D'Yourcash says,

"It makes my job a hell of a lot easier. I've grown up in the robbery game, and some says its for mugs. Well not anymore. With the cuts in police, I've taken to strolling home with my wares as opposed to the traditional getaway driver.

"The rozzers don't know whats hit 'em, and the four of them that are left in Bedfordshire don't care what I do. They're too busy catching speeding drivers and stopping people hunting foxes. I'm pretty much free to do whatever I want," said D'Yourcash, before making off with Taribo's tape recorder, pen and notebook.

Local man T.H. Eaves proclaimed with vigour to anyone who'd listen that,

"Its a bloody outrage. I've had nine of my pheasants stolen from the coup this week. If it keeps on like this, I won't have anything for dinner by September."

More on this when its relevant.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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