Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 21 July 2011

image for Lucian Freud's dealer says he's dead
Some of Fraud's pictrures looked acid-induced

London - Described variously as Lucian Fraud's dealer and/or weed man Mr William Acquavella said today the great artist had died.

Speaking to reporters from the Emin Evening Argos the New Yorker confirmed Fraud had died at home in his sleep yesterday.

The 88 year-old artist was a grandson of Sigmund Freud, founding father of psychoanalysis and long time cocaine aficionado.

Something of the great man must have rubbed off on young Lucian who once claimed his 'crazy' paintings were rooted in intermittent euphoria that sometimes grabbed him after a spliff.

"Or after listening to Lou Reed belting out 'I'm waiting for my man/Got 26 dollars in my hand', heheh," Mr Acquavella's aide added.

Fraud's pictures have sold for millions of dollars despite some content being frankly repulsive.

His study in oils of a grossly corpulent nude woman slumbering on a couch sold for $33.6m (£20.6m) in 2008.

Some months after the sale a lardarse from the People's Republic of Camden claimed to have been the original sitter, about 45lbs ago.

Funeral details to follow shortly.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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