Written by Skoob1999
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Tuesday, 19 July 2011

image for Hacking Hearing - Rupert Murdoch Plays Bart Simpson Card
Say Nowt About 9/11 or Milly Dowler - Some Prick Will Show Up With A Custard Pie - Sorted.

As he sat before the Parliamentary Select Committe, alongside his son, James, the nation tuned in to rolling news channels, hoping to get some kind of insight into the murky world of News International from media tycoon Rupert Murdoch.

For a scandal which ultimately could see the end of the Metropolitan Police and the resignation of a Prime Minister, not to mention the involvement of the FBI across the pond, also investigating phone hacking allegations, it was all a bit of a let down.

Murdoch and son trotted out the same old tired mantra, typically displayed by military men under interrogation. In short, they told us 'nowt.'

The continued responses dragged on like a bad Simpsons script, with the Murdochs stating variously that they didn't do it, it wasn't them, they knew nothing about anything, it was their subordinates who had been let down by people they trusted, that the News Of The World comprised only 1% of their empire, and that they really didn't know what was going on.

One predictable apology came from Mr Murdoch senior, as he expressed regret over the Milly Dowler phone hacking allegations, stating that he felt humbled.

Things livened up at one point, when a complete pillock somehow entered proceedings and attempted to 'custard pie' Murdoch with a paper plate full of shaving foam.

A stunningly fucking stupid move, considering that the public, and the taxpayer, have the opportunity to see our paymasters and media manipulators brought to account, and some prick decides to introduce a 'custard pie' to proceedings.

Cock.

It would perhaps have been amusing, had the silly fat bastard had something sensible to say, instead of shitting himself as Rupert Murdoch's wife, Wendi launched herself at him with the fury of a football hooligan out of the ICF or off the Stretford End or something. Although having said that, it was a bit of a girly slap.

Of course, in the inquest after the hearing on certain TV news channels, all the plaudits went to Murdoch, for maintaining his dignity after the 'savage' shaving foam attack. The Committee Chairman even going so far as to praise Mrs Murdoch on the resumption of proceedings for having a 'mean right hook.'

Which was an absolute bollocks description of a girly slap.

But all credit to the Murdochs for saying sweet FA, and the dickhead who introduced the 'custard pie.'

Interested observer, Martin Shuttlecock, told reporters:

"That cunt with the 'pie' really pissed me off. He might as well have given Murdoch a get out of jail free card. He allowed the media the perfect opportunity to turn Murdoch into some sort of martyr. I'd have given him a right fucking kicking if I'd been the copper who got the dickhead in the cells. Not for attacking Murdoch, but for being a self serving upper class twat, who allowed the media to distract viewers and readers from the core point of the inquiry."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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