Written by Rebel Not Taken
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Sunday, 17 July 2011

image for Rebekah Brooks's husband Charlie was webbed up with Grant Mitchell
Cash in Hand

Revelations about the murky criminal past of Rebekah Brooks's husband Charlie Brooks have rocked the Establishment.

Charlie Brooks, now masquerading as an aristocrat novelist, is believed to have been involved in cocaine addiction, prostitution and murder.

Operating under the alias of Janine Butcher, a petty low life East End villain, Charlie Brooks was arrested in 2004 for the murder of 'nice' Laura Beale, who was at the time, married to a respectable local chip shop owner called Ian.

Charlie Brooks was also in the frame for killing hapless Welsh loser Barry Evans and is thought to have paid 'heavies' to dump the fat slag's carcass in Epping Forest.

Charlie Brooks, according to secret documents published anonymously on the Internet, grew up in a criminal household dominated by a hardened and violent psychopath with the moniker Frank Butcher.

'Fake tan Frank', who knew the Kray twins, ran a moody second hand car lot in rundown Walford and used to drink in a dodgy boozer with Grant Mitchell, who we now find out, used to be Rebekah Brooks's first husband.

Several other low-lifes, including Rebekah Brooks's brother-in-law, Phil Mitchell, have told the Old Bill that Frank Butcher regularly gave his wife Fat Pat "a slap", hence her nickname 'Slapper Pat'.

Charlie Brooks is also thought to have helped Frank Butcher 'cook the books' in order to profit from their scams and has been under investigation by The Customs and Excise for trousering VAT on fake MOT's and 'having it away' to the Costa del Sol.

Charlie Brooks, aka Janine Butcher, was last seen in 2005 when the character won the British Soap Award for Villan of the Year and was also nominated for Soap Bitch of the Year.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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