Written by Sergeant Gordon
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Monday, 18 July 2011

Experts predict that by the year 2099, eighty percent of the UK's population will suffer from agoraphobia.

By then most shopping will be done on line and with unemployment forecast at 90 percent, people will have no reason to leave the house, resulting in the onset of agoraphobia.

There will be lots of work in fast food outlets for cooks and delivery men. Likewise there will be an increase in demand for pyjamas as outdoor clothing will deemed unnecessary. Although in some areas pyjamas will be outdoor clothing.

Colin Holmes, a founder member of BAA, the British Agoraphobia Association, said, "Agoraphobia is no laughing matter. Here in Lowestoft, almost a thousand people have joined our branch since we started five years ago. We meet on the first Wednesday of the month, but so far no one has turned up."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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