Written by Lady Godiva
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Sunday, 17 July 2011

image for It's to late now for you to be sorry. Brits who decided to 'holiday at home' now wondering if they made the right decision
If Stockton gets 'this bad' the canoe will be utilized

Nora and John Cushion are now wondering if they made the right decision to 'holiday at home' this year with five other couples in Stockton, England.

Recent weather forecasts tell of record-breaking rainfall and winds up to 30 miles/hour in their 'neck of the woods' and elsewhere.

We met up with Nora and husband John, who were featured in an earlier story. They invited the other five couples who had gone along with their seemingly wonderful plan to holiday at home and save money.

The couples all admitted that it was too late now for them to be sorry and they were planning to make the most of holidaying at home using the weather to their advantage.

John's favourite song, which he says is a Monty Python classic, is 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life", and that's exactly what he and his friends intended to do.

John's friend Frank 'Limpy Loo' Lambert (his right leg is shorter than his left as a result of a motor-bike accident when he was a teenager) told us he has a canoe and life jackets so if the streets are flooded then hey can take little tours of the housing estate and maybe help out some neighbours along the way.

Some streets in Stockton are already awash but the flooding hasn't reached their housing estate yet.

Pot Ed, another of the group is standing by John's original idea and is busy gathering up 'board games' and 'jigsaw puzzles' in case the electricity goes out. His wife is gathering up torches and candles, matches and camping stoves. She thinks it'll be quite fun, like camping out on the Cleveland Hills when they were all much younger.

When asked why her husband was called Pot Ed, she explained to us that his real name is Ed but when working at British Steel, when the lads were making a brew they often couldn't find Ed's white pint pot which he drank from so they were always shouting, 'Where's your pot Ed?" He therefore become known as Pot Ed just as 'Limpy Loo' earned his nickname.

'Limpy's wife, Lucinda, is also looking on the bright side saying that they will all be together and can make their own fun. Also, after a few beers and vodkas they probably won't care where they are or what the weather is like. They have two sunbeds and a large screen t.v. plenty of beer and vodka. It doesn't get much better than that, according to Lucinda.

Another member of the group, Ian 'Copper' Farley (nicknamed because he is a member of the Cleveland Police Force) told us that he has brought the barbecue inside in order that they could still enjoy outdoor living but 'inside'.

When 'Copper' was reminded that it was dangerous to barbecue inside he didn't appear to be too worried on that score because they had 2 fire extinguishers in each house and a fireman lived close by.

We will continue to follow these friends as the 'holiday at home' continues come hell or high water.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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