Written by Ben Macnair
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Topics: sloth

Sunday, 17 July 2011

image for Sloths call for name change
Yeah, like man, the Sloth is just too racy for me.

Lazy Harry, a Sloth in London Zoo has called for his species to undergo a name change. Speaking to us at a very slow speed the formerly white, but now algae tinted mammal told us:

'I think it is very bad for our self esteem to be called by one of the seven deadly sins. I would not mind if Rabbits were called Lust, or Elephant's Gluttony, but we need a name that sounds a lot better than Sloths'.

In the time it took for him to tell us this, The News of the World shut down.

'Of course, we are still waiting for the forms from deedpoll. My good lady wife Hilda has ordered them online, but it takes her so long to click a button that between each key-stroke the computer goes into Hibernation. Hibernation sounds like a good idea to me. Bears, Hedgehogs etc, they sleep in the winter months. No-one picks them up on that, do they?'

We pointed out that no-one ever argues with a Bear. They can't be pulled out of trees, and take it on the chin. You do that to a Sloth, they will just think you are joking around with them.

Leeches have 43 brains. Did you know that?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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